Giveaway!!! The Grey Bastards Giveaway the FIRST! (International – Ends 3/31/18)

GUYS! I am an AMBASTARD! This means that I’m an Ambassador of the Grey Bastards. Which means that I FUCKING LOVED THIS BOOKย (it was the first book I ever reviewed on the blog!) and I want to share it with you.

Well, at least 5 of you ๐Ÿ˜€


So, between now, and… let’s say… the middle of May-ish, I am going to be giving these 5 Advance Reader Copies of The Grey Bastards by Jonathan French away. Originally the plan was that I was going to keep one, but you know what? I think it could do better if I send it out into the world to find a new home. So, 5.


Live in the Saddle! Die on the Hog! – This is the war cry and creed of the Grey Bastards, Jackal and his compatriot half-orcs’ hoof. Your hoof is your clan. Your family, more or less, out in the Lot Lands, the wasteland that lies between the human kingdoms and the full blooded orcs.

But in such a place, your real best friend is your hog. Your faithful mount, bred for war with tusks that can skewer pretty much anything it charges at. To use a couple examples from the book, Jackal’s mount is named Hearth, and Jackal’s buddy Oats’ mount (pretty much my favorite mount/animal in all of fantasy) is Ugfuck, which I still maintain is the perfect name for a mounted war hog (or any pig, really).

So, you’re a half-orc, fighting and fucking your way across the Lot Lands, protecting your hoof and whatnot from everything from elves, to orcs, to centaurs. Your trusty mount, a hog bigger than most horses, with tusks that curl so far towards their head that some wild hogs impale their own faces with them… needs a name.


To enter: comment on this post (you’ll have to provide an email in order to post a comment. You don’t have to put it in the comment. I can still see it. It doesn’t show publicly, but I’ll need it to contact you if you win) and tell me what the name of your hog is.ย 

Here’s a bit of fine print for you, just so we’re all on the same page:

  • On April 1st, I will randomly choose a winner based on the entrants. It won’t be an April Fool’s joke, because I am not good at jokes. I’ll use a random number generator to pick. ๐Ÿ˜€
  • This contest is open internationally, to residents of any country that accepts mail. I will place the book in the mail within a week of being provided an address. I’ll ship media mail within the US and whatever is cheapest for all other countries (I’m especially looking at you, Australia with your distance from me and kangaroos!). So, it might take some time for your book to arrive. Please be patient if it is zooming across the planet.
  • The winner will have 48 hours to claim their prize,ย after being notified via the email they used to enter the contest (or through voracious tweeting at if I am a follower of their twitter :D). After 48 hours, ifย there is no response, another winner will be chosen.
  • If shipping internationally, any customs or tax charges are the winner’s responsibility. I’ll mark it as a gift, but I don’t know the customs and import taxation rules for all countries.

40 thoughts on “Giveaway!!! The Grey Bastards Giveaway the FIRST! (International – Ends 3/31/18)

Add yours

    1. He would be part of a mighty fellowship and go on a brilliant adventure!

      Also, you don’t have to put your email in the comment if you don’t want to. I can see it if I need it. Just FYI in case you wanted to edit it out. ๐Ÿ˜€


  1. Wilbur. You know Fern found an old war vet and had him train Wilbur as a war horse, because neither she nor Wilbur were having any of that “How much bacon can we get out of him?” nonsense again. Charlotte’s kids taught him Spider-Fu, and he learned a LOT about nastiness from the geese. He’s still sweet, especially to Fern, but no longer naive, and in no mood to take any crap.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I made google pick a random number between 1 and 23 – which is how many of you awesome people entered!!! and she chose 21 (after playing a really cool ‘I’m picking a number and not becoming skynet dooo doo doo’ sound) – so the winner is Mia! ๐Ÿ™‚ CONGRATSSSS – I twoodled at you! ๐Ÿ™‚


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